An Email Affair (1 of 15)
An Email Affair (2 of 15)
An Email Affair (3 of 15)
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An Email Affair (7 of 15)
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An Email Affair (9 of 15)
An Email Affair (10 of 15)

LOL Raging Regi!

So who’s doing the food imagery now? First you want to keep the food in the kitchen, now you’re boiling and simmering all over the place ;-)… okay, listen Regi, I’ll be straight with you, every time I get down to pray, your face comes down like a wall in front of me. I spend hours on my knees and I’m just fooling myself! This obsession is either from the Devil or from God himself. Now, we’re children of God, yeah, so my mind cannot be the Devil’s playground. So what’s God trying to say to me? This is what I think: there’s something beautiful between us that’s gone bad and I’m in agony. I have to fix it. Remember how you glared at me as you served communion? Well I had stomach cramps right afterwards. Truth. I can’t bear that you’re so angry with me. I went through our emails, Regi. Seven hundred emails in the last six months… Can you believe it? No wonder I’ve been lost these past two weeks. You are my soul mate, Regi. It is crazy how easy it has been to confide in you. Our evening emails used to be the highpoint of my days. You know everything about me and this is what I suggest: Let us… I’ll get back to you on this… Sylvia’s just come back and I have got to get her to the salon…


Tell her to try the very-low-cut.

You know, personally I think your obsession is from the Devil – and you’re not just his playground, you’re now his ipad. It calls for serious action before you become his jukebox as well. Seven days’ prayer and fasting, no less. You should start right away: no food or water for seven days, then on the last day, a major prayer session. I will give you a hand that day if you want. We’ll have to eat very well that evening – so we’re strong enough for the deliverance session. Book a hotel room somewhere out of town. (Look for a good story for poor Sylvia) Then I will join you for the vigil.

We can’t have the secret son of Jesus oppressed by the spirit of love.

God, why have I fallen in love with a knobhead?

An Email Affair (12 of 15)
An Email Affair (13 of 15)
An Email Affair (14 of 15)

9 Replies to “An Email Affair (11 of 15)”

  1. Joseph says:

    Uuuf and it gets more interesting. Can’t wait to see how Sou reacts to this latest offer.

  2. Enna Inot says:

    Raging Regi, sure knows how to goad a man…
    Just by the way Chuma,Tortuous suspense is still a crime. 🙂
    Great writing by the way!

  3. Chuma says:

    @Joseph & Enna… it still boils down to: will they, won’t they? Right? Go on, take a wild guess.

  4. Chuma says:

    Sylvia and Ralph? Goodness, Akan… that is like converting a love-triangle into a love-quadrilateral and matching up everyone in sight! 😉

  5. KT says:

    Laughing out really loudly!!! Regi’s smarting quips quite sound like the sort of thing my new boss would say…..not suggesting she’d consider an afair of any sort!!! just the choice of words….of course its all you Mr Chuma! In short, you sound like my boss!


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