An Email Affair (1 of 15)
An Email Affair (2 of 15)
An Email Affair (3 of 15)
An Email Affair (4 of 15)
An Email Affair (5 of 15)
An Email Affair (6 of 15)
An Email Affair (7 of 15)
An Email Affair (8 of 15)
An Email Affair (9 of 15)
An Email Affair (10 of 15)
An Email Affair (11 of 15)

Is all that sacarsm for little me alone? How did we come to this, my dear Regi? We are not married yet and it’s bicker-galore! ๐Ÿ˜‰ For the last six months, I’ve set the music of your voice making those heavenly announcements in church to your 350 emails… and it was an angel’s serenade… I don’t have a voice for these last sarcastic emails from you, Regi… there’s a disconnect. I might not need a vigil to cure me after all… perhaps one more sarcastic email will do?

But here’s what I had in mind. You know what, letโ€™s totally meet. But letโ€™s make it accidental-like. I’ll be servicing my car at the new garage at Daleto between 4 and 6pm this Thursday. You know that ultra-modern ramp with a cafรฉ in their reception? If you stop for an oil-change around the same time it wonโ€™t be crowded, and we could have a drink and a real, face-to-face talk, without it looking really hanky-panky.

I know you’ll scream timid and worm all over again, but just think about it, okay? I hate for you to act as though everything we are saying and doing at church is all a game. You are a worship team leader. I am a men’s leader. Didn’t you feel as though Rev. Atashe’s sermon last Sunday was written directly for you? And yet, you’re carrying on as if all this were normal and I’m just a slacker. As though it were not a struggle for you as well… I’m dying here, Regi, wrestling between what my head says is right and what my heart is screaming for me to do. And the Eye of God is following me around! All I’m asking is for you to show some understanding… and fake an oil-change for me. I’ll even pay for it ๐Ÿ˜‰



Sou… hanky-panky! You’re a case! Where do you get all these words from?

I hate myself.

I don’t hate you. – I hate how easily you bring me around. I can’t even wait for you to properly abase yourself with begging before caving in. I wish you could see the second email I wrote last night… I was seconds away from sending it when the power failed again. It was to be my last email to you and I was going to close this secret email account for good… but you have made your pitch again and I am dreaming again…

I’m too old for this, I swear! You are offering me a drink at a mechanic’s yard! Any self-respecting 14-year old girl would laugh at the loser who toasts her like this. But you know what? I’ll be there. Stand me up again, and Sylvia’s skirts won’t be wide enough to protect you from me ;-). I hate myself for this, but yes, I’ll fake an oil change for you. – BTW, what are you doing after 6pm? Don’t make any firm plans, okay?

And about the sarcasm thing, and the struggle between good and bad and all that… unlike you, I won’t blame God. The Devil made me do it, alright? If I live long enough, I’ll make my peace with God, but right now, I’m following my heart. Call me a demon and a hypocrite all you like, but I didn’t ask for this love, did I? I was in church minding my worship business when He poured it into me. I’m coming to get you, darling.

See you Thursday.

An Email Affair (13 of 15)
An Email Affair (14 of 15)

9 Replies to “An Email Affair (12 of 15)”

  1. Enna Inot says:

    Nice! Hope they finally meet face to face and you won’t throw in a new twist Mr.Chuma. ๐Ÿ™‚

  2. Chuma says:

    I’m curious myself, Enna… I thought I had the whole play figured out, but these two emailers have a mind of their own.

  3. dina says:

    could not resist
    Where do you get all these words from?
    Lets totally meet….. is out of this world

  4. Chuma says:

    @ Dina… not out of the world… on the streets!

    @ Duncan… what? Nobody’s rooting for poor Sylvia? ๐Ÿ˜‰

  5. kt says:

    Oh my! Now you’ve got the blood pumping Mr Chuma!!! I temporarily forgot about ‘poor Sylvia’ in the scheme of things!!! The two cheats inspire a world of contradictory emotions in me….does this mean I part condone part condemn them? I’ll have to wait with bated breath for this to pan out and probably discover a thing or two about my very own character!


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