Sorry about the cinnamon thing. Let’s just drop it, shall we. I had meant it as a compliment.
There are tons of things that cannot be said by email! The same things that cannot be said by glances. Last Sunday as you helped to share communion our eyes met, remember? As the wafer touched my tongue and I chewed upon the body of Christ, I opened my eyes and there it was, a certain something in your eyes… or was I mistaken? I have chewed over that ‘something’, without quite being able to figure it out, and it’s near to driving me mad. So what was it, my sister in Christ? If I was mistaken and there was nothing there, then we don’t have to meet. If it’s something you can tell me by email, then we don’t have to meet either. So tell me, Regi, did I read too much into your glance?
I… don’t know… I really don’t… there’s something maddening about this keyboard that takes and hardens all the soft things I want to say… you can’t imagine how many yards of type I have written and erased because they look so sinful on the screen… I think it was the shock of turning around and seeing you kneeling there, your eyes closed, your mouth open, your waiting tongue trembling, and two grey fillings smudging the enamel of your left premolars. I know my hand trembled as I fed you the body of Christ… but did my eyes say anything? God… I feel so naked, so ashamed that my eyes were so transparent. I’ll have to start wearing dark glasses around you! Do you think other brethren would have noticed too?
Ralph is off to Nairobi now… but you must tell me, Sou: when did you first know that what I had for you was rather more than the love of Christ?