So there I was, passing through Nassarawa State, Nigeria, (which, by way of tmi, autocorrects to ‘masseuses’) and suddenly this gecko materialises on my windshield. I was at the material time marinating some short story characters in my head so I was not at all alarmed when said gecko somehow acquired the gift of speech. Said he,

-Oops. 

-What?

-Looks like l mistimed the jump. I was supposed to be in your face, at like 100mph or something. 

-Am I supposed to say ‘sorry’ at this point?

-Well, let’s just say, you’re lucky, this time.

-OK. Um, I’m about to activate the windshield wiper now, at like 100 mph. Is there a gecko God? Do you need to say any prayers?

-Don’t you want to know who sent me?

-Not particularly.

-It was somebody in your village. You remember that land case… if you pull over I can tell you more…

-Nice try.

-OK, can I have a last request?

-Look, if you’re planning to turn into a human when you hit the expressway at 100mph, I’m not digging any graves in Lafia.

-Don’t worry about that. My body is in bed at home. But can I make your blog at least?

-Why? Dead geckos don’t browse.

-I want them to know I really tried. I tracked you all the way from Asaba to Nairobi, from Addis Ababa to Abuja. I was only inches away…

-Deal.

-One more picture? Please?

-(Sigh) Say Cheese.